I was saying something yesterday at work, for the life of I can't remember what, and when I finished Ned gives me this weird look and then starts cracking up. "When did you go country?" he asked laughing. Apparently my southern accent creeped in on me for a second.
Why is it that really annoying people seem to be drawn into my sphere (or as Mrs. Keith {Dead Dog Lady} would say, "Body Bubble")? This one guy in my psych class is sitting across the room bitching about our teacher miscounting/numbering...whatever. She wanted to make 6 groups of 4 but ended up with 4 groups of 6. He argued with her on Wednesday and he's still whining about it now, to the equally annoying "Tao", this chick who is one of those "people" persons that you can't stand being around. And just my luck, I ended up with him in my group on Wednesday.
This morning the Grind crew were reading the email and somehow got off on Kama Sutra positions, ok that's not too weird but then it got off onto garden tools. And then, so help me, they combined the two. The end result was the Genital Flo-Bee proposed by Evan for that delicate shaving of the male under-carriage.
I can see already, at 7:56, that this is going to
be a trying day. The whole psych class is trying to get the Prof. to just
give us the answers and our challenge would be to memorize them. God this
class' Obnoxious Quotient must be at least 9.5 on a 10 point scale.
The Gods must've given me that space out front as
an appeasement for the rotten day ahead. Grand.
I was walking behind the "Female Dave" just now. She even walks like a twit! With those little tiny steps, she looks so ridiculous. She's one of those girls that's actually Anglo but looks like a really, really brown Latino. She was in my psych class this summer. She would come to class-no notebook, no pencil, no book. Only her keys, cigarettes and a lighter. She didn't say anything until the day of the final, then she showed that she was an idiot of the highest caliber. And I was horrified that I was looking at her and saying to myself, "My God, it's Dave!"
Perfect proof that today is going to be bad. I come into the Union and what's playing? Backstreet Boys "Everybody". So I admit I like the song, it's got a good background beat, but it's not something that I want to hear in the Union. It should only be played when I'm in the safety of my car. I'm now positive that Satan inhabits the TCC Union for sure. It's Dance Music Hell, with some fu-fu Duran Duran song playing. Later they played "Major Tom" and while I was sorta grooving to that Drew says, "See, all the sorority girls love that song too." Grrrr, that whole joke is just getting a tad annoying. And on the way here I passed Dipshit and Dipshit Squared, otherwise known as "Britteny" and Internet Boy. Luckily I spotted them early and kept my head and eyes down until I passed them, thereby avoiding any confrontation.
Sondra and I started again talking about how we liked
swing music and she told me, for at least the third time, about seeing
the Brian Stezer Orchestra perform on VH-1. The she asked me how I would
describe "Rockabilly".
"It's like Buddy Holly, and of course for the 80s
version there's The Stray Cats."
"STRAY CATS!" we both scream.
"You know that originally the Buddy Holly stuff
didn't have any background singers? They recorded the original tracks and
then sent them halfway across the country to *insert nifty hand gestures
here* New York," says The Mattman joining in on the conversation.
"You say it as the city is a bad thing," replies
Sondra.
"But how did you know that I was talking about the
city? I could have been talking about the state as a whole."
Then Sondra and I respond at the same time, doing
the same nifty gestures as Matt did before, "Because you said it like 'New
York'."
"And besides, where else in New York is there a
great recording capitol? Buffalo?" I break in.
Everyone starts cracking up as Sondra continues
my line of thinking. "What about Scenechity? You know all the best albums
are recorded there, of course there's also Ithaca and Syracuse."
"And what about Masapequea? Can't forget Masappequea,
Long I-land has to 'represent' you know!" I say.
So it continues on for the rest of the hour talking
about stuff and Sondra and I will pop in randomly with some New York city
or town.