My
Name is Käthe.
I take joy in strange things.
Lip Smacker.
Anything that sparkles.
My family takes great comedic
liberty with this by reminding me of it every five minutes.
I'm Anal Retentive.
That's why all my CDs are
in alphabetical order.
But my room still looks
like an 88 mortar shell hit it.
I think that there should
be a UN Peacekeeper standing in the corner guarding a bag of rice.
I get a bit obsessed about
things.
TV shows in particular.
Farscape is the current
victim.
My heroes are Susan Ivanova,
Ms. Parker and Officer Aeryn Sun.
Is there some sort of pattern
there?
I try to separate myself
from others at school by listening to my CD player until the lecture begins.
Everyone thinks I'm that
weird brainy chick.
No one talks to me.
I like it that way.
I can be rather nasty and
vicious.
People think it's funny
if they aren't the ones I'm tearing into.
I tend to smile a lot.
I think I have a nice smile.
Aside from that one tooth
that is starting to stick out.
It makes me look lopsided.
This list seemed like a
good idea at the time.
I'm not so sure now.
I love bread.
I love the smell of copier
toner.
Hence I am always volunteering
to make copies at work.
Nobody can recognize my
phone voice at work.
Apparently it's a lot nicer
than my regular one.
I'm a self proclaimed Nerd.
People seem to think that
when I say that I'm being self deprecating.
I think being a Nerd is
a good thing.
Do you see a cool candy
named Prep? Popular?
I revel in my comparatively
low self esteem.
I'm comfortable with it.
And in makes me funny in
a way no one else is.
I'm attracted to rather
confident guys, bordering on arrogant actually.
I'm Queen of the Dysfunctional
Non-Relationship.
I'm scared that I'll be
one of those girlfriends that all the guy's friends hate.
So I don't even entertain
the prospect of attracting someone besides a toothless old man.
I can't tell you how much
easier my life is thinking like that.
I like walking in the rain.
No umbrella thank you. You're
going to get wet anyway, why not do it full out?
I hate sappy movies.
Give me a "Guy Movie" any
day.
I think way too much.
I want to stab my brain
with a Q-Tip.
But that would be bad.
I want to change my name.
Maybe Katja.
But then who would know
me?
And I would loose my Super
Umlot Power too.
I only like a few people,
and out of all of those I only get to see one with any regularity.
I'm passive-aggressive to
a high extent.
Usually I'll just shut myself
off from the situation rather than start an argument.
I have this theory that
I'm really just a side character in someone else's movie.
It seems to explain a lot
about my life.
Like why I never seem to
be able to break out and do new things.
It would screw up the dynamic
of the movie and they would have to give me more screen time.
And just for the record
I hate the Real World and didn't really get into The Matrix either.
I'm a self processed Quote
Whore.
That's why Post-Its are
a good thing.
I can't wait for my ten
year high school reunion.
I've been waiting for it
since I was a sophomore.
Can you tell I have that
whole high school outcast complex about showing up and wow-ing everyone?
Mine's purely a physical
issue though.
Low physical self esteem
rears its ugly head.
I think I would make a good
tragic heroine.
Can't you just see me pining
away on a cliff somewhere?
But true to my life I would
probably be pining over Gilligan like in that Snickers commercial.
My verbal skills have greatly
diminished since I started writing this journal.
So I'm going to stop writing
this now before I loose any more.
Ta ta.